Swami Anand Arun of Osho Tapoban speaks about his experience when he took sannyas from Osho.
When I joined Osho in March 1969 there was no
sannyas initiation but we were fully aware that
Acharya Rajneesh is our master; we were a bunch of 100-200 who had
already surrendered to him in our hearts. Osho had not given a formal
initiation to anybody till then. He started initiating people in 1970, and in
1971 Osho sent me a letter and invited me to come to Mt. Abu and take sannyas;
he also said that he had already decided for my new name. But I was only a
student of engineering and didn’t have the money or time to go.
So in 1972 when I was in my final year of
engineering studies, I went to Bombay to take sannyas. Osho said to me, “You
are in your last year of studies and if you take sannyas, I have doubt that you
will complete your studies.” And he was right. So he told me to first go and
complete my studies and also asked me to build a house for my parents on the
empty plot of land that I owned in Kathmandu. He knew everything about my
family. So I did as he said and you would be surprised to know that as soon as
we finished the house warming party or Griha Prabesh Puja, the very next
morning I escaped to Pune and took sannyas from Osho. I had already surrendered
to Osho in 1969 and used to call him Bhagwan even before people had started
calling him with this name. And I also wrote letters to him and Osho would
reply to my queries. So the master-disciple relationship was already there, yet
initiation still has its own value. This I realized after taking sannyas.
Before being initiated, I had been trying to
meditate in my college and at home but my meditation was never deep and I
always had problems going into silence. But after initiation it became very
easy. At the time of receiving sannyas I had my first satori. I went into
no-mind the very moment Osho touched my third eye and gave me the mala and my
new name. The moment Osho touched me, I screamed so loudly that everybody in
the car porch where the initiation was happening got disturbed. There was no
Chuang Tzu Auditorium then and we were only 13-15 people in the small car
porch, and Osho was speaking without a microphone. I was more of a reserved
person before so when he touched me and gave me the mala it felt like a dam had
been broken and the river wanted to flow over; so I kept on crying. I couldn’t
control the upsurge of emotions and disturbed the whole interview, and people
wanted to take me outside. But Osho was kind enough to stop them and said, “Let
him let go.”
And when Osho was initiating I could see the whole
atmosphere changing. I saw that everything had turned into orange including
Osho’s white robe and his chair. The tile floor, the walls, the trees in the
ashram garden, the casual clothes of non-sannyasins, I saw that everything had
turned into orange. I rubbed my eyes and I thought I was hypnotized and tried
to wake out of it. I didn’t know what had happened but everything had changed
into a beautiful psychedelic color of orange. Later on I read in books that
when people take LSD they have such psychedelic experiences but to me it happened
with his touch! And this lasted for about half an hour. I could see the
radiating beauty and grace of Osho and so many other things happened which
cannot be explained in words.
It was an experience of the heart and it seemed to
me as if I knew Osho from many lives, it was a reunion. The whole incident
lasted for an hour after which the initiation was over and we returned to our
rooms. And I was in such ecstasy and joy that I had never experienced in my
life. I was staying at the Somji state building where there was a high ceiling
hall. And suddenly I saw Osho’s head appear in one corner of the ceiling and I
started crying out of joy. People could not understand what was happening. The
whole night I had experiences and I felt like light as a feather. It felt like
I was flying high and then again coming down. Even though I couldn’t sleep even
for a minute, I was still in total ecstasy, in divine madness. The next morning
I realized that I was a different person.
That’s why I insist so much on the mala and sannyas
to my new friends. It is one thing to read Osho or to meditate. People say to
me that they are already reading Osho and doing his meditations, what is the
need to take sannyas. But I know the difference. Without initiation your
meditation cannot reach that height, you cannot surrender your ego. And unless
you surrender your ego you cannot go into the depths of no-mind. So initiation
is a must.
It was a ten day camp and after those ten days my
friends wanted to return so they went for a leaving darshan. I did not want to
return and rather stay for another four months but still I also went with them.
My initiation was on 11th October and the leaving darshan was on the 20th. On that day I was so much in bliss that the
moment they opened Lao Tzu gate I rushed to sit near Osho. We had been asked to
walk in a gentle pace but I started running uncontrollably. Osho was having a
private talk with the famous film director Vijay Anand and his girlfriend, who
had been allowed in five minutes earlier than us. So when Mukta saw me running
towards Osho she wanted to prevent me from disturbing the conversation, but
Osho saw it and stopped Mukta. Osho invited me to sit close to his feet and I
sat near him. During that interview I touched his feet several times and he
blessed me several times. I was in so much bliss and gratitude that there was
nothing to say. Osho looked at me and chuckled, “Hmmm … so you are in ecstasy?”
This was my experience after taking sannyas and for
ten days I was in a different world. I tried to force myself to remember where
I had come from, my parents, my job, but my mind was not ready to accept that I
had any past connection. I was totally in the state of here and now. I had
limited funds for ten days but I stayed for four months without a penny. I was
half mad and everybody thought that I would not be able to return to the world.
My parents had lost hope and thought that I would become a vegetable. I was in
so much bliss and happiness that even I had lost hope that I would be able to
return to my job and earn my bread.
During the four months in Pune, I had to go through
many physical hardships, using municipal latrines and slept under thatched
roofs with several other people. Everything around me was uncomfortable but I
was in the most comfortable state. I was so joyful then that afterwards for
several years I was ready to pay any price to experience the same joy.
Now, since last few years I feel the same joy and
bliss and I don’t miss Osho anymore. Today there was sannyas initiation in the
meditation hall and anyone could see how ecstatic and mad people were. People
can still attain to such ecstacy. We are reliving Osho. Today he is closer than
the closest person to my heart and I don’t miss him.
From an interview by Aatmo Neerav